Why & How We Self-Sabotage & How to Train Your Brain to Stop, Already!

When you’re stuck in a mediocre life, it may feel like there’s a huge barricade standing between you and the life of your dreams. 

And there is: YOU.

Yes, you are the thing standing between you and an extraordinary life. You are sabotaging your good intentions, standing firmly in your own way. You procrastinate, self-medicate, get into arguments with friends, family members and colleagues. You grab for that square of after-dinner chocolate…when you’re trying to lose weight. You relax into your couch and settle in to watch another season of Orange is the New Black…all while that big, important work deadline looms ahead.

Every time you sabotage your own goals, you dig a ditch of defeat that gets deeper and deeper. Eventually, you’re stuck in that ditch, with walls too steep to scale.

Why do we self-sabotage? Here are a few reasons we accidentally-on-purpose do this to ourselves:

1. Self-Worth. We don’t believe we deserve happiness, success, or the fulfilling, extraordinary life that’s absolutely within our reach.

2. Consistency. We’re so used to disappointment and worthlessness that we sabotage just to keep things consistent and comfortable in our lives.

3. Control. We know what happens when we fail. But we are scared as hell of what happens when we succeed and the unknown of getting there. What if we can’t control the twists and turns that lead to an extraordinary life?

4. Imposter Syndrome. As the bar of our lives gets higher, we feel we’re not qualified or deserve to be doing these amazing things – accepting a promotion at work, graduating with an advanced degree, etc. We believe others will think Who does s/he think he is? So, we procrastinate and divert until we’ve successfully sabotaged our position on top of the world.

5. Excuses. If we don’t put our full effort into something, we have an instant excuse for why we fell short. If we give it our all – at work, in a relationship, at school – and still fail, we have to take full blame for the failure.



6. Just Because. Instability and chaos are old friends of ours, and we come to enjoy the warm, fuzzy feeling we get by inciting drama in our lives.

Self-sabotage is a learned behavior that comes not from fear of success, but from a lack of self-worth. But, through Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), you can retrain your brain to stop self-sabotaging behavior and give yourself permission to reach your full potential and accept all of the amazingness that the universe has in store for you. Here is a simple EFT exercise to help get you out of self-sabotage mode. I recommend doing this ten times every day—and promise me you’ll try it for at least a week before deciding whether or not it works (it does):

Step 1. Tap the side of your hand, also known as the karate chop point, fifteen times.

Step 2. Bring your right hand to your collarbone and rub with thumb and first two fingers; place your left index finger firmly on your belly button just for a few seconds.

Step 3. Reverse hands. Bring your left hand to your collarbone and rub with thumb and first two fingers; place your right index finger firmly on your belly button for a few seconds.

Step 4. Tap under your nose fifty times.

Step 5. Tap under your lower lip fifty times.

Once your brain has responded to this exercise, you’ll notice a shift. For me, I yawn. Others sigh or cough. Some report a clear-minded feeling accompanied by a change in their tone of voice. Repeat this exercise until you recognize a conscious shift in your mind and body—and then go seize the day!

There is rarely a person who isn’t negatively affected by self-sabotaging tendencies. However, it is just as rare that a person finds their way out of self-sabotage and defeat. Use this EFT exercise to break free from self-sabotaging behavior and start reaching your full potential!

Leverage the Power of EFT

To learn how you can fully leverage the power of EFT, consider attending my upcoming EFT Intensive. You’ll learn how to use this powerful tool and will walk away with scripts you can use immediately to overcome fear, anxiety, and pain, release food cravings and old habits, remove internal blocks, and improve self-esteem and personal performance…and so much more!